Married but looking for someone else

This whole episode is causing me to lack focus because I obsessively research articles and comments all the time. I would let her go and get over her because truth be told, I do feel that I would do pretty good on the dating market. I just want to keep my family and not put our son through this. Our sex life was pretty good. The fact that she is talking so much to someone from the past suggesting that it is a long term problem. Dear, Andrew. I need your help. I have been married for almost 16 years to my husband and we have 4 kids.

He would have me in tears and just mentally and emotionally abuse me. A year later he confessed his infidelities to me. There were several accounts throughout the years while I was having his babies. This hurt me to the core to the point where I almost drove myself off the road. Each time it pushes me further and further away from him and more and more out of love with him. What do I do? The other thing is, an old friend has found me after 20 years.

He was my 1st boyfriend and my 1st kiss. He knows me better than anyone, even my own husband. Is this an emotional affair? Could this be my true love? I sure do believe he is. And how do I get out of this marriage? Otherwise, your husband will blame you for the break-up and make ending your marriage even harder. So get support from your friends, your church and your family and be clear: I want a divorce and I want you to move out.

He is amazing and he has showed me and treated me so different then my partner has in this 13 years. I can feel that it is different I have never felt this way about someone.

Married But In Love With Someone Else - HELP! I’m Married But In Love With Someone Else

My partner and I have not been intimate for months now. It is a tough one but the longer you leave it, the further the affair will go and the more upset your partner will be. There is no right or wrong way to break the news — it will be painful no matter what. You need to tell him the truth. You are grateful for everything that he does done for you but the relationship is not right for you. He will be upset but the longer that you deceive him, the worst it will be.

Honesty is the best policy.

It Doesn't Matter How Long You Have Been Married

We are not legally married due to financial constraints though we assume we are. The other is ready to do anything to have me as his wife,.. He has swore he is going to do everything to make sure am his wife. Am very confused and depressed. I think your real problem is your relationship with your mother. This new love is probably a distraction to stop you from looking at the REAL source of your unhappiness. It is a way of self-medicating the pain. So running of with him will change nothing, but add another layer of pain onto this whole problem.

Sort out the relationship with your mother and good things will flow into your life. About 5 years ago I reconnected with a old boyfriend. Well, my husband found out about my affair with this old flame. He knows I love this other man. He is attractive and we get along very well. Now, remember this NOT having sexual attraction with him has nothing to do with reconnecting with old boyfriend. This has been an on going problem for very long time!

My husband loves me and wants our marriage to work. I just cannot stop loving my boyfriend or ever forseeing not ever being with him in my life!!

Is Having a Crush on Someone Else Damaging to a Marriage? | Fatherly

This is such a struggle! We have 3 grown children and lots of family members who adore my husband. Please help with some advice! You have a lot of anger built up from twenty years of loneliness. You are angry because it has taken someone else to bring him to this point and now he expects you to be happy to jump into bed together!!! Can you see the anger? When all the not so nice feelings have been properly expressed, the nicer ones like love and attraction can return. You need to understand why you let twenty years of misery slip pass — without speaking up.

I hope that I have shown you a possible path back. Whether you want to take it is up to you.


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About ten years ago I made friends with a man who may very well be the one. I was single, and he was married so I never let the relationship go anywhere. Approximately six months after meeting him I ended up starting a relationship with a long-time friend, who is now my husband. We moved out of state together and soon after, I realized I was in love with the aforementioned married man who I cut off all contact with for the sake of the new relationship. Once again, for the sake of the newer relationship I stopped talking to the other guy, for the next six years.

I needed things to work in the new relationship because he was my way out of a boring small town that I did not want to return to.

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Fast forward, me and new guy had a baby and decided to get married, for practical reasons at the time. The problem was that we were and are very incompatible, neither one of us seems to like much about the other person, and other than having a few interests in common and a great sex life, we never really got on.

We moved to New York and almost immediately ended up having one financial crisis after another. The crisis never ended though, and a new baby arrived, putting that much more pressure on… everything. My husband basically never made a single real friend the entire time since we originally moved, so he was never going to be a lifeline for me in that regard.

I became utterly miserable, and he did too, however because I cared for the kids I never failed to snap out of it.


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It started to seem that he resented the very thought of me letting myself be happy because, how could I?? He was texting me the next day and we just both unloaded on each other, not mad, just honest. We covered the technicalities of divorce, and our vow to never stop supporting each other, it was great. I became really ecstatic about finally being free to be myself, finally not having to put the walls up, not having to stay home to be caretaker any more. While I was daydreaming about a life apart, I received an email from the other man.

I was surprised, crazy timing! We talked every day for the next week, and within the first day talking all of the feelings rushed back, this time without guilt because he was single and my husband wanted a divorce. I fell madly in love, just totally. Then that following Monday, my husband emailed me a giant letter taking responsibility for every action he has taken that has ever hurt me, claiming divorce was not what he wanted after all. So I guess my question is what should I do from here?

There is only one thing to do.

Come clean with your husband. Talk together about what comes next. It is not fair to deceive him and he will find out eventually what has been happening and the longer you leave it the worse it will get. Sorry there is no magic solution but this is the least bad option. I have been with my spouse for 13 years.

I Fell In Love With My Husband When We Were Both Married (To Other People)

Married for I have been unhappy in my marriage and wanting out for 9 years. He is selfish, manipulative, an alcoholic, lazy, and cannot handle ever hearing anything negative about my feelings. He takes everything as an attack. To be completely honest I cannot stand him but I act like everything is okay for the sake of our children.

When he walks in a room the whole energy changes and I feel a weight on my shoulders. I have been living this miserable life for so long. At first I was completely ready to leave my marriage and told this man I would.

What to Do When You Are Married and Have a Crush on Someone Else

He is also more level headed than I am. At that point I chose to avoid any type of contact with him outside of our professional relationship. I started marriage counseling with my husband. We have since had another child as well. Fast forward to this last month. This man has since confessed that he has loved me for all these years as well.